I’m feeling 22…


So, guess who’s turning 22 in exactly 7 days. Yep, that’s right 22. I’m not quite sure how I feel about this. At times I feel like I’m very young because if I were to live until I was about  70, I roughly have about 50 years left. And that seems like an eternity on earth. But at other times when I look around and see the people my age already in long-term relationships (some even married!) or already have serious jobs (adult jobs as I like to say) it worries me. I feel like I’m being left behind, that I’m missing out or that I’m just not doing life ‘right’. I even wrote a really sad poem (as in pathetic as well as crying-sad) the other day and no, I’m not going to share that with you, got to protect that little dignity I have left (haha). But on a more serious note, you see the thing is I’m scared. There I said it.

I know I don’t have to be, that everything will fall into it’s place and that God will take care of me and He will lead me. So that got me thinking, as long as I do God’s will I will be okay, right? No, I guess I’ll be more than just okay. But then that got me thinking (I know I over think, definitely need to stop that) what is God’s will for me. Like how do I know this is what he wants for me to do. I’ve come across Christians who get clear signs (like a billboard saying something about India and my friend was asking God whether she should go there, guess she got her answer) but with me, I’m a doubter. When I say I’m a doubter I mean I question everything. So signs wouldn’t really be my thing and to be honest I don’t ever get signs (or maybe I just don’t look hard enough) and I don’t know if this is offending to Christians out there (sorry if it is) it just seems superstitious to me. Anyways so there I was at 2 am lying awake in my bed unable to fall asleep. So what does the regular worried 21 year old do when they’re freaking out at 2 am about life, (order pizza of course! just kidding..) they find out what John MacArthur has to say about this- DUH. If you at this point are wondering who he is…YOUTUBE HIM RIGHT THIS MINUTE (only if you want to) Okay, so I found a sermon by Johnny that was titled ‘Taking the mystery out of God’s will’. Needless to say, he answered my questions (backed it up with Scripture of course) and I eventually went to sleep. I’d be lying if I said I have never felt anxious about the future again (especially when I see on my Facebook timeline) but it definitely has helped me a lot.

I guess a lot people, especially we as Christians worry about not doing the will of God and it’s scary. If you are struggling with this right now I strongly encourage you to check out the sermon if you like and I promise it’ll definitely shed some light (I’ll post the link at the bottom). If you aren’t struggling with this and you are just stalking my blog (You rawwkk!), I’d still encourage you to watch it, I mean Johnny’s sermons are pretty awesome anyway.

Okay I’m gonna stop waffling now (waffling means talking a lot, apparently Americans don’t use that term, what a waste of a beautiful word) and I jut want to say thank you for reading all the way and I hope you found this helpful or funny (or both?!) and please come back again for new posts in the future.

P.S. Happy 22nd Birthday to me! (:



7 thoughts on “I’m feeling 22…

  1. I thought this might be rather apropros (better word than waffling), or at least it was for me for some time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMXMRJP8EHE (It is a little less theological than your video, but very fitting.)

    Regarding the will of God for your life, I assume Dr. Johnny would agree with me on this, it is more important that you know the will of God in general. That is, to glorify Jesus and to save a people for Himself. His will for us? To live according to our newfound calling:

    For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

    (Ephesians 2:8-10 ESV)

    The Bible does speak a lot of our vocation, and that we are to glorify God in and through it. We are to serve our neighbor through our vocation, through charitable love, and at times giving, and honor God in doing so. Thankfully, this was “rediscovered” by Martin Luther in the Protestant Reformation, prior to the common thought seemed to be that “holy work” was better than the work of the commoners. Luther, and the other Reformers (Calvin!) believed God is glorified when we are good members of our Church and our community, and giving Him the glory.

    So, about God’s will for you? What are you passionate about? And, what are you good at? And, don’t limit this to “charitable works” or humanitarian aide, but what vocation interests you? I work for an internet provider working to give people faster internet. And, I believe, and the Reformers would believe, that this work glorifies God.

    As for life passing you by, I know the feeling there. I’m 33 (I know, old, right?) and while I have a fairly successful and growing residential rental business going, and work as I said above, I do feel like things are missing. Especially the wife and children. I hope God will provide those, and wait hopefully patiently.

    As for those who get obvious signs, or even those who claim God has spoken to them, I agree with you that it is superstitious mysticism. (I would say the same for the frequent claim by pastors to have “felt a calling from God” to be pastors. But, this would take a whole post in and of itself.)

    As for being scared, or doubting God, don’t. Not that being scared is a terrible thing, but God’s will is going to be done, live according to what He has clearly commanded, and most importantly trust in His Son, and do what He seems to have provided for you. (Advice from people who know you well helps too.)

    Your Twitter talks about future scientist, what is that about?

    Oh, and, being of the female persuasion, the Bible says women should be homeward orientated. While I don’t know how much that applies to a single woman, for a married woman, especially when she has children running around, many take it to mean staying home with the kids, maybe even homeschooling them. So, that is something to consider. Not that I would suggest staying home until God brings a frog to your door for you to kiss.

  2. Americans use the term waffling; we just use it differently. We use it to mean wavering between two opinions or flip-flopping.

    But anyway, enjoy your 20s, they’ll blow by faster than you can can imagine! Have a happy birthday next week!

  3. Sometimes God gives very clear and direct signs about his will for us. Most of the time he leaves us to find our way in this world, as long as we are following after him. That is to say, if you have 3 doors from which to choose, all 3 might be equally valid and good for a Xian young person. So which one do you pick? It doesn’t matter. Weigh the options, make sure you’re aligned with God, and step in faith.

    God can bless whatever path you take, as long as you’re walking with him.


  4. I just wanted to encourage you by saying YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE GOD WANTS YOU TO BE. Even if it doesn’t feel like you are. Every move, turn, jump, decision, trial and testing…. none of it is a surprise to God. He wrote your life and everything in it. So just rest in this and accept His will and way for you and your life and trust that no matter what is happening all around you… He’s in control 🙂

    God Bless! 🙂

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